IMO The simplest way would be to garnish a bit of extra data onto the normal FEP 1b12 process.
Create a new post (Create -> Page to the instance that hosts the community, which in turn does Announce -> Create -> Page to followers) and add an extra field to the Page
which is the URL of the original post. That will establish the association.
To reject the cross-post, return HTTP 400 (403?) to the POST to the inbox on the initial Create -> Page ? Or send a Reject activity, either way is fine but the 400 seems easiest. Lemmy returns 400 for a lot of things so we have some prior art in that direction.